Here is to the human in us all.
For years I have struggled with low self esteem. My pride often resides in how well I hide my negative thought from those around me. If I smack a smile on, no one would ever think any different, right? My, oh my. I should have known that tactic would only get me so far. Harsh thought and false accusations against myself have left countless internal bruising. At what point did I let it go this far? What happened to the little tot who danced in front of anyone, who felt like a stunning princess, and believed her daddy when he told her she was beautiful? What happened to get me from that pedestal as a child to this low demeaning point as an adult? I am sorry to say that it has been a coon’s age since I felt confident in my body and looks.
Friends have tried to help. Family members have been reassuring. Austin has told me that I am beautiful. What more would it take?
Well today I learned just what it would take.
It would take me lifting my woe up to God. To lift it up and trust in him with all of my heart.
For this body of mine is a true gift from God. That being said, I am grateful for all that it is, has accomplished, and continues to accomplish everyday. I focus now on my health and ability. The communication that God has with me is unmeasurable. He holds a standard for my body and my health. I am thankful that he takes the time to do so. What would I be without him?
I can tell you that without God I would be that girl who is jacked about her strong thighs one moment and then hating them the next because they seem to be the largest thing to ever walk the planet. I would be that girl who tells herself that she can’t do anything right. That she is ugly. On and on. I have been there and you best believe that it can go on and on.
I now know that it doesn’t have to go on and on. I lift this up, away from my soul. I feel like a new person and am trusting in God that he is working in and through me.
I am telling you this because I love you. I don’t want it to be a lifetime before you overcome the low self-esteem you may experience. I have been blessed with the feeling of the Lord taking this hurt away. Lift up your woe to Him and know you are beautiful. I believe it. I pray that you do as well.
So here is to the human in us all. Better yet, here is to the fact that the sweet Lord is looking after our human hearts. We are beautiful and thankful for all we can do. Thank you Lord, for who you are and the grace you grant to us all.